Oh Canada

Prior to this trip, my experience in Canada has been limited to a night in Quebec City (nearly five years ago).  Thus, this little adventure across Alberta and British Columbia has been rather enlightening, especially in terms of cultural Canadian nuances that in a few cases have been a major source of frustration.  Here are ten things we didn't know about Canada, but certainly do now:

1.  The Calgary Stampede

When we were telling travelers in Glacier that we were headed up to Calgary, everyone kept asking if we were going to the Stampede.  We were completely clueless until we arrived in Calgary to find all the cheap hotels occupied and outrageous prices for those that weren't (think $179 for a Super 8).  Additionally, EVERYTHING was covered in boots, hats, and redneck regalia.  The Stampede is essentially the largest rodeo in Canada, bringing cowboys and gals in from everywhere.  This basically equates to my hell on earth.  As most of you know, I have a severe dislike for anyone that injures little cows or horses, so there is nothing appealing about thousands of morons lined up to see a helpless calf get tied and slammed to the ground.  Moreover, six horses have already died at this years stampede!!!

2.  Drivers from Alberta

... are easily the worst on the continent.

3.  Canadian National Parks

Whereas the parks in the States have modest entry fees and the option to purchase an annual all-access pass, Canadian parks are expensive and you can only purchase an annual pass per park per person.  So, if Ryan and I wanted to visit Glacier, Jasper, and Banff for a week, we would pay on the order of hundreds of dollars.  

4.  Taxes

Are around 10%.  

5.  Hotels

The cheap hotel doesn't exist in Canada (outside of Vancouver).  We have been known to hit up a 29.99 or 35.99 special, the kind that you actually sleep in your sleeping bag on top of the bed.  When a campsite costs $25, why not pay the extra 5-10 for your own space (albeit a sketchy space).  In Canada, there isn't a room for less than $80.  

6.  Money

Canadian dollars are referred to as Loonies.  No joke.

7.  Yellowknife

... is apparently a huge Japanese tourist destination.  Yes, as in b.f.e Northwest Territories.  The Japanese believe that a child conceived under the northern lights will grow up to be wealthy.  REALLY?  

8.  Fascinating hazards

When we rolled into Alberta, the sky was pretty ominous.  I asked Ryan if they have tornadoes in Canada, and he guessed it was too cold.  Soon after, we heard a slew of tornado warnings on the radio.  Tornadoes... check.  In Kamloops we crossed into a more arid environment, so I was concerned about the probability of stepping on my little reptilian friends en route to the restroom.  Once again, too cold he said. We spoke to a local later on who informed us that that region was home to Canadas only poisonous snake, a western diamondback with a northern accent, eh?  Rattlesnakes... check.  

9.  Vancouver 

....is on a huge delta.

10.  Waterslides

We noticed this in the northern U.S. as well, but what is the deal with the waterslides???  I don't want to pay extra for a hotel because it has a waterslide...  generally these just attract children and tour buses.  I just want a hotel that has a sign that says "NO Waterslide".